This past spring, a Canadian man who lives in Tel Aviv signed on at the last minute to the writing retreat I was leading in Spain.
When all of this horror erupted I reached out to him. Bernard Dichek has been very generous in sharing some of what he and those he cares about (everyone!) with me and the group. I asked him if I could share some of what he’s written since it is both eloquent and horrifying.
He said yes, please, share widely - the world needs to know.
What follows are Bernard’s words and some links to articles that Google thankfully will translate for us.
October 14, 2023:
the birds woke me up
I thought they were gone, forever
only sirens left for music
but they weren't singing
they were fighting
over requiems
some said Britten's War Requiem
others Cherubini or Mozart in D Minor
they were getting ready for the Big Funeral
then a blackbird came along
she said how about Groovy Tuesday
I liked that
the groove between Tuesday and Wednesday
I could crawl inside, never face another Tuesday
and not have to go on to Wednesday
October 18, 2023:
Plan B
change your name
dye your hair blonde
do a bit of cosmetic surgery
hire a speech therapist
get rid of your accent
be it Yiddish or Hebrew
then you'll be ready
to run away
it takes years
to acquire
a taste for wine
only a second
to lose
a taste for life
Tuesday:
every day is the same and every day is different
Einstein was right
it is possible for two particles to be in a different place at the same time
the woman sitting across from me is the same and is different
she is wearing an olive green army uniform
the two bars above her shoulder indicate she is an officer
the sneakers on her feet indicate she is in reserve duty and not in a combat unit
her feet are tapping nervously but she is quietly smiling as she looks at her cell phone
her order arrives and she takes two coffees outside where another woman soldier is waiting in a small blue car
in a city with little parking, a small car is helpful
in a moment with little hope, an undiminished memory, now and then, serves a purpose
the two young women can remember wearing different clothes
it's still hot here and skimpy tops with bare midriff remain in fashion
there is a wave of patriotism sweeping across parents as their children who are soldiers go off to war
there is a bolt of despair piercing the heart of every parent who knows what happens in war
the world is the same
the world is different
Today:
“Only hugging, no questions
this is the new motto
A friend went to the hotel at the Dead Sea where the members of kibbutz Be'eri have been evacuated
(at least a hundred of the 1200 kibbutz members were either killed or kidnapped)
people kept on coming up to her and hugging her
people she doesn't know
they explained that there were a lot of psychologists there who kept telling them to hug as much as possible
they also said that they were afraid to ask each other questions
to find out who was killed and who was kidnapped
many brought their dogs with them
a lot of dogs running around on the hotel lawn”
“…you can tell the world about Shoshan...what you won't be able to tell them is what I felt tonight at a demonstration in Tel Aviv by the families of the more than 200 kidnapped hostages ...several hundred people were there...speaker after speaker trying to say what they felt had to be said...some said they were going out of their minds because after 20 days they had no idea what was happening to their children or parents or grandparents or grandchildren...one woman said she had seen news footage of her son's girlfriend being dragged away on a truck...her son she said could have run but he stayed to protect her...a father said he had seen video of his son with his wrists bound behind his back, a terrorist standing over him with a rifle...enormous anger at the government...a man said he hadn't slept for 3 weeks, he sometimes dozed off for a few minutes and then woke up his heart beating fast...some addressed the government and said put yourself in our position, if it was your child that was taken...and people would break out into spontaneous chanting...bring them home...now....now...today...today...bring them home...now..now.. today...and then the chanting would stop and another family member would begin to speak...but at one point one person in the crowd didn't stop chanting...he kept on in a loud voice...bring them home now...bring them home now...everyone else had grown silent...under different circumstances you would have thought he was crazy...he couldn't stop...bring them home now...he kept going...but under these circumstances, maybe he was the most sane person there...and at the end of the gathering, the mother that had organized it asked to end with the singing of the Israeli anthem which is called HaTikva, The Hope...yet many people remained silent...after I walked around the city square opposite the Tel Aviv Museum where displays have been set up by the families...there is a Friday night dinner table set up with 224 empty chairs and the traditional meal of twisted challah bread and wine at place settings..there were artists painting photos of the kidnapped...there were murals...and I ran into a friend, not from a kidnapped family, who said she had been there with her 91 year-old mother angry with the government...and finally, let me add something, and I can't believe it has been 3 weeks, but I have focused on what I felt I could best do, to work to create awareness about Shoshan, but let me address an unanswered question, what about the innocent families in Gaza who are suffering, ...I can answer the question by coming back to Shoshan who I did not meet by chance, I met her during the five or so years I spent writing about and filming Israeli efforts to make life better in Africa, most of the communities the Israeli organizations worked with -- Sivan's solar energy project in Uganda...Ariel's app for a cellphone that allows nurses to do an examination for cervical cancer in the villages of Kenya...Micha's community development project in Burundi...and of course Shoshan's seed project in Ethiopia -- all of these projects are taking place in Moslem communities and if not then Christian...in a world of billions of people we can only look after our families and friends and nation first but we also have to think about the others...and last, on the way to the gathering there was a missile alert and I got off my bike and took shelter in the entrance of an apartment building where someone opened the door for me...when the sirens ceased, a woman told me that coffee was spilling from my bike carrier, I looked down and saw a mess on the floor...don't worry she said, I'll look after it.”
An important read regarding hostages
Today:
a hot day in October
unusual for this time of year
the fiery breath of Prometheus
no god
could put it into words
better left unsaid
better left unthought
too much has happened that could never be true
a mother buys her daughter a coffee
she pays with coins
unusual not to use a credit card
maybe it's her way of bringing back those days
when her daughter wasn't wearing a soldier's uniform
the cafe is empty
outside a few people walking their dogs
soldiers coming and going
some casually
maybe it’s their way
of keeping the night away
a hot day in October
Oh Melissa. Thank you so much for your honest and tender words. When words fail...
The writing pulls you out of yourself. We cannot imagine but we can feel.